Flirting......harmless or .....???

There is this popular TV serial Taarak Mehta ka Oolta Chashmah on the family channel SAB, where the main protagonist Jetha Laal is shown besotted with his neighbor, Babita. While this scenario doesn't raise any eyebrows ....it is quite a cliche' plot of any romcom. The difference here is that both are shown as happily married middle aged adults. His actions like giving her covert glances, floundering of  speech or batting of eyelids is supposed to be comical. An adult (also happily married) behaving like a love struck teenager-comical? 
Is the plot out of our daily lives? We see many instances of perfect husbands openly flirting with colleagues. we see women unabashedly using sexuality for meaningful gains. A wink here, a touch there, a smile here, a pout there. The term coined for such behavior is 'harmless flirting'.
Flirting is the first step of infidelity and there is nothing harmless about it? It is very easy to get attracted to one person...or different persons at different times. But it takes self control to stay rooted in your relation. Some might find my views orthodox  debating that this is liberating your feelings  while not indulging in any act of immorality. I beg to differ. Progression of thoughts is elevating yourself, your spouse and your relation to a higher level of commitment . Rather it is regression to give in to your wayward thoughts and feelings. And as we were taught in moral science class....not only immoral act but an impure thought is also a sin.
My grandma always told me....... Mann ka ghoda bahut tezz bhagta hai.....uski lagam hamesha pakad kar rakhni chahiye !
A relation equals 100% commitment....there is no scope for flirting....harmless or otherwise.---what do you say?--Finger Talkies.

Measure of success.......

What is the measure of success? For a baby who just took his first steps,walking 10 steps without falling is a success. For a student getting into his desired college is a success. For an athlete winning the trophy is a success. But what about us .....those who are churning in the daily grind of office...home...office? Is success defined by the wealth amassed or the position achieved in the society? Husbands slog themselves working ungodly hours in the office in the hope of  climbing the corporate ladder. While their better halves are constantly in the race to raise super kids , run a fool proof household and maintaing a page 3 lifestyle. But spare a minute and think .....does this end somewhere? When an assistant manager gets promoted to a manager position , does his ambition end there? No, he then aims for being the general manager. Are we satisfied after we reach a certain lifestyle ? No,we aim higher....So, when this race is never ending what is the motivation to keep on running? Does advancing with each step be termed as a success?
People are often heard saying that you  are successful if you have an x amount of money in the account or you have the latest and trendiest gadgets or you wine and dine with a certain swish set of the society. Is this the measure of  success?
Someone very recently told me that he measures his success with the happiness and contenment of his wife and children. True, that he is a workaholic, has very little time to spend with his family, has no time for his ownself and is a part of this rat race but he knows that he is also the provider of his family and as long as he fulfills their needs and wants he is happy and successful . It is insignificant that today he is at the top of the corporate ladder. He does not measure his success by his position or the car he drives.
 His views completely changed my definition of success. It no longer matters if a certain classmate is a top notch executive or a former collegemate still looks eighteen......this is not the measure of success. I am successful if I know my purpose and am doing a fine job of achieving it.
Happiness and success are directly proportional to each other. I am happy being the nurturer of my
family and their smiles are the measure of my success.---Finger Talkies.

Kya yehi hai right choice baby..!!?

Life is a maze- a maze full of choices. As you make right choices ,the doors keep opening and you move forward.  But sometimes some choices can get you stuck also. So are they wrong? Is there a right or wrong choice? The choices we make, shape our lives. Ask any successful person the mantra to his success, the most common answer would be- " I made the right choice at the right time." It makes one wonder, did he know he was making the right choice?
At various stages in life, we face numerous choices. Can we be sure that the one we are about to make is the right one? Or do we hope that it turns out to be the right one? Its a risk all of us take all the time. Whether it is the smaller decisions like what to order for dinner or the gigantic ones like whether to quit your job or not. Small or big....our choices shape our lives. Its like giving an examination......we write the answers to the best of our ability .......but only when the result comes out, we come to know whether our answers were right or wrong.
More than often, people stick to the age old path, a tested path believing that its the right choice. An elixir of a fairly normal happy life.
But then, there are those who take the off beaten path-make the unconventional choices. They are the ones whose lives become an inspiration to others. So it is not about making the right or wrong choice, but converting your choices to success. When you put your mind and heart into something and work with perseverance and patience, it is you and your choice...and your dreams!!
Is it the key for someone to say-"I made the right choice at the right time!"-Finger talkies

Sharing is caring!

Even experts say that a child has no concept of sharing till the age of 3. When a child starts recognizing his relations and his surroundings, he finds security in the knowledge that they are his parents, his house, his toys and so on. The concept of sharing this with others is alien to him. It is the parents who drill the concept of sharing in their kids as they grow, because it is social etiquette . Sharing is Caring.....we teach our kids . But have we ever thought that this might instill insecurity in them when they can no longer relate to anything solely as their own...everything has to be shared.
An interesting article in today's paper says that the secret of a happy marriage is -- sharing! Share cooking, share cleaning, and share grocery shopping . Really ?? There is a saying A couple who cooks together stays together.......how many couples have you seen cooking together?? Well, I have none. Maybe if both are chefs by profession and work in the same restaurant, this might work. Which husband after a tiresome day at office would be thrilled at the prospect of  cooking dinner with his wife. Or for that matter, is a Sunday spent grocery shopping in the overcrowded malls, standing in long queues for billing , considered quality time with your partner? These activities if done once in a while can be fun but expecting your husband to cook or shop with you every time may have the opposite result.
Sharing is good but in limits and certainly not everything can be shared. So, let your kids be possessive about their things, it gives them security. And complete your cooking before your husband arrives home so that both of you can enjoy dinner together. Spend the Sunday lazing around with your family instead of sweating in the crowded markets.
Sharing is caring but take care to share......-Finger talkies.

How much is too much??

A rather funny incident happened today. My dear hubby went to office as usual in the morning, only to find that the office is closed !!! It is a state holiday- Maharashtra day! Though both of us had a good laugh about it but such incidents provoke thoughts like - how much is too much? Mind you even though I am happy to get this unexpected holiday with him but at the same time it made me think about how preoccupied his mind is.
Our parents lived in the golden age of government jobs. They had fixed office timings ,fixed holidays and fixed salaries. Life was simple. They went to office, worked, came back in time for cup of tea, spent time with family and ended the day at a decent time. Pleasures came from small deeds like eating out at the neighborhood eatery or going for a movie. As kids we were happy to get an ice cream on the way back from school....it was big treat! Holidays were spent lazing around with family and idling the time away.
We are living in the world of materialism where there are no limits. No limit to the working hours, no limit to the earnings and no limit to the spendings. The more you earn...the more you spend..the more materialistic you get. Today, we eat at five star hotels, watch movies at multiplexes ,shop high end brands at malls and exercise at premium health clubs. It has become a part of daily lives......no special pleasure is drawn out of these things. If the world is progressing ,then how come we can't recall the last memorable dinner or a family outing. I still remember the nukkad dhabha where I had enjoyed numerous meals with family. Surprisingly, my husband still remembers which movie he had seen in which theater as a child. More surprisingly, he forgot that he has a holiday today! There is so much happening every second.....and our minds are so full of it...that we have stopped taking pleasures in small things. Is this what we are heading towards? Is materialism taking place of memories?
How much more do we want ? Where will this materialism stop or will it ever? - Finger Talkies.