My daddy strongest!!!

Father, dad, papa.......these words conjure an image of that one person who is our eternal hero.
While mother is the symbol of love, father undoubtedly is the symbol for life. Fathers introduce us to this magnificent world and like a guiding light show us the way to live in it. He is the teacher , mentor, idol, provider, protector and guide. Sometimes knowingly but often unknowingly his everyday deeds with small but valuable teachings hidden in them, shape the person we become.
I am lucky to have a father who believed in me as much as he loved me. Even today, years after his soul has departed for another world, I derive immense comfort in the knowledge that he is up there looking out for me.....his little girl.
As I treasure the memories of one father, I am grateful for the presence of an amazing one- father of my kids, in my life. The way his eyes twinkle when he hugs them, his chest broadens just a little when they are felicitated,the  tranquil peaceful look when he curls up with them and the worry lines which cloud his face when they are unwell. These are all testimony of the eternal love for his children. The ardour with which he teaches them everything from mathematical formulas to teachings of Gita ,is admirable. Like an artist,he moulds carefully, shaping them into individuals they will be one day.
Father's love is a masterpiece of nature that cannot be replicated.--Happy Father's Day!------Finger Talkies.

Rain Drops On My Window Pane!!

Come June and the first pitter- patter of raindrops , announce the arrival of monsoons. The first rains so unexpected, yet long awaited, fill the air with joy.

Monsoon is perhaps the most enjoyable of all seasons. Rains perpetually evoke a joyous feeling in both young and old.

During my childhood I had read a fascinating story about raindrops being tears shed by sky. Well, tears or no tears, after the sweltering , smoldering summers,rains are more than welcome.

Every year, monsoons make me nostalgic. One rain drenched evening, fifteen years ago, as the moon played hide and seek with clouds and raindrops tingled  the skin, I started on a life long journey with my life partner. And, since coming to mumbai, four months of cloudy skies and rains have been a sheer bliss.

I love to wake up to the music of raindrops on my windowpane. Often clouds fill up my balcony and sipping a hot cup of tea, I stand in reverence admiring this gift of nature. Many thundering nights, I curl up with my kids dozing off, as the heavy darkness descends.

Heavily laden clouds, floating like cotton candy, envelope the city in a foggy blanket. Amidst the light drizzle and heavy downpour the city takes on the glow of new shiny paint. The otherwise concrete city , now filled with lush greenery is a tonic for sore eyes. The cool breeze and the fragrant wet soil act like a catalyst triggering the taste buds.

Alas, like every good thing ,monsoons also bring few problems. The mushrooming potholes and the endless traffic queues moving at snail's speed are troublesome. Nevertheless, the glory of monsoons overshadows these bumps.

Monsoon is the time for naughtiness and nostalgia , memories and madness, romance and rains, chai and samosas.....savour it.

Dreams to Live or Dreams to Die??

            ' It is unfulfilled dreams that keep you alive.'
                                                                             Robert Schuller

Sadly, the reverse of this quote proved true for Jiah Khan, who ended her life at the young age of 25. Her unsuccessful Bollywood  career is thought to have been the trigger. A precious life with dreams still fresh in eyes, came to an end too soon. It is shocking that a confident, educated, cheerful twenty something girl can willfully end her life.
We all dream and go through life, trying to make these dreams come true. And when one dream comes true .....we have another one...and then another. Life goes on. In this fast paced life we do not pause to cherish the dreams that have been fulfilled, instead keep running after the unfulfilled ones.
Many times we try to realize our unfulfilled dreams through our children without even considering that they may already have their own bundle.
Glamour industry is perhaps the biggest example of this. Many unsuccessful or small time actors groom their children to enter glamour world hoping that their children will achieve what they couldn't.
Another face of glamour industry...the reality shows for kids ....are quickly becoming breeding grounds for false and misplaced idea of stardom. Parents literally haul their kids to participate in these shows without even considering their aptitude or talent. It is sickening to hear vulgar songs from the innocent mouth of a five year old taught by the parents themselves. The eyes which are dreaming of fairies and Santa Claus are burdened with their parents' dreams.
Their hearts remain untrained for rejection, break too often at the hands of humans who sometimes are judges in reality shows or perceived lovers in real life! And when the sand slips from our hands, we mourn the loss, often too late to do anything.
RIP Jiah, or should I pray, RIP parents' dreams....Finger Talkies

First Day of School.......AGAIN!

The school has reopened after the long summer break. A new session has started. The quiet corridors of the school are suddenly flooded with activity. The new admissions are wandering somewhat lost in the new environment while the old ones hurry around excited to be back in the familiar arena. A newly promoted old one holds my hand too. Promoted from Nursery to Junior Kg :) Around her are flocks of tiny tots who are venturing into the school life for the very first time. With huge bewildered eyes they are looking around , one tiny hand clutching tightly mama's or papa's finger. Tears are rolling down the cheeks at the thought of entering this huge monster of a place with alien faces all around. Anxious parents meanwhile are trying their best to convince the little ones to move from their secure embrace to the guiding hand of the teacher. And as the little one takes the giant leap into the corridors of school, the heart beat quickens on both sides and moist eyes follow them till they disappear into the classrooms. My 'senior' daughter is so composed, so much in control!

Though my kid is well settled into her school life by now (thankfully...), the scene outside the school, on the first day always touches a chord in my heart. In the sweltering heat of June parents brave the 'mob' to reach the gate on the first day of their child's school minutes earlier (which seem hours.....). This ordeal seems worth when your heart swells with pride seeing the shining faces of the students. Achievement of completing the first day of school successfully, clearly reflect in their eyes.

The first day of school is a gentle reminder that through tears and tantrums we have ushered our precious ones into the phase which will shape their whole lives.....Finger Talkies.

Flirting......harmless or .....???

There is this popular TV serial Taarak Mehta ka Oolta Chashmah on the family channel SAB, where the main protagonist Jetha Laal is shown besotted with his neighbor, Babita. While this scenario doesn't raise any eyebrows ....it is quite a cliche' plot of any romcom. The difference here is that both are shown as happily married middle aged adults. His actions like giving her covert glances, floundering of  speech or batting of eyelids is supposed to be comical. An adult (also happily married) behaving like a love struck teenager-comical? 
Is the plot out of our daily lives? We see many instances of perfect husbands openly flirting with colleagues. we see women unabashedly using sexuality for meaningful gains. A wink here, a touch there, a smile here, a pout there. The term coined for such behavior is 'harmless flirting'.
Flirting is the first step of infidelity and there is nothing harmless about it? It is very easy to get attracted to one person...or different persons at different times. But it takes self control to stay rooted in your relation. Some might find my views orthodox  debating that this is liberating your feelings  while not indulging in any act of immorality. I beg to differ. Progression of thoughts is elevating yourself, your spouse and your relation to a higher level of commitment . Rather it is regression to give in to your wayward thoughts and feelings. And as we were taught in moral science class....not only immoral act but an impure thought is also a sin.
My grandma always told me....... Mann ka ghoda bahut tezz bhagta hai.....uski lagam hamesha pakad kar rakhni chahiye !
A relation equals 100% commitment....there is no scope for flirting....harmless or otherwise.---what do you say?--Finger Talkies.

Measure of success.......

What is the measure of success? For a baby who just took his first steps,walking 10 steps without falling is a success. For a student getting into his desired college is a success. For an athlete winning the trophy is a success. But what about us .....those who are churning in the daily grind of office...home...office? Is success defined by the wealth amassed or the position achieved in the society? Husbands slog themselves working ungodly hours in the office in the hope of  climbing the corporate ladder. While their better halves are constantly in the race to raise super kids , run a fool proof household and maintaing a page 3 lifestyle. But spare a minute and think .....does this end somewhere? When an assistant manager gets promoted to a manager position , does his ambition end there? No, he then aims for being the general manager. Are we satisfied after we reach a certain lifestyle ? No,we aim higher....So, when this race is never ending what is the motivation to keep on running? Does advancing with each step be termed as a success?
People are often heard saying that you  are successful if you have an x amount of money in the account or you have the latest and trendiest gadgets or you wine and dine with a certain swish set of the society. Is this the measure of  success?
Someone very recently told me that he measures his success with the happiness and contenment of his wife and children. True, that he is a workaholic, has very little time to spend with his family, has no time for his ownself and is a part of this rat race but he knows that he is also the provider of his family and as long as he fulfills their needs and wants he is happy and successful . It is insignificant that today he is at the top of the corporate ladder. He does not measure his success by his position or the car he drives.
 His views completely changed my definition of success. It no longer matters if a certain classmate is a top notch executive or a former collegemate still looks eighteen......this is not the measure of success. I am successful if I know my purpose and am doing a fine job of achieving it.
Happiness and success are directly proportional to each other. I am happy being the nurturer of my
family and their smiles are the measure of my success.---Finger Talkies.

Kya yehi hai right choice baby..!!?

Life is a maze- a maze full of choices. As you make right choices ,the doors keep opening and you move forward.  But sometimes some choices can get you stuck also. So are they wrong? Is there a right or wrong choice? The choices we make, shape our lives. Ask any successful person the mantra to his success, the most common answer would be- " I made the right choice at the right time." It makes one wonder, did he know he was making the right choice?
At various stages in life, we face numerous choices. Can we be sure that the one we are about to make is the right one? Or do we hope that it turns out to be the right one? Its a risk all of us take all the time. Whether it is the smaller decisions like what to order for dinner or the gigantic ones like whether to quit your job or not. Small or big....our choices shape our lives. Its like giving an examination......we write the answers to the best of our ability .......but only when the result comes out, we come to know whether our answers were right or wrong.
More than often, people stick to the age old path, a tested path believing that its the right choice. An elixir of a fairly normal happy life.
But then, there are those who take the off beaten path-make the unconventional choices. They are the ones whose lives become an inspiration to others. So it is not about making the right or wrong choice, but converting your choices to success. When you put your mind and heart into something and work with perseverance and patience, it is you and your choice...and your dreams!!
Is it the key for someone to say-"I made the right choice at the right time!"-Finger talkies

Sharing is caring!

Even experts say that a child has no concept of sharing till the age of 3. When a child starts recognizing his relations and his surroundings, he finds security in the knowledge that they are his parents, his house, his toys and so on. The concept of sharing this with others is alien to him. It is the parents who drill the concept of sharing in their kids as they grow, because it is social etiquette . Sharing is Caring.....we teach our kids . But have we ever thought that this might instill insecurity in them when they can no longer relate to anything solely as their own...everything has to be shared.
An interesting article in today's paper says that the secret of a happy marriage is -- sharing! Share cooking, share cleaning, and share grocery shopping . Really ?? There is a saying A couple who cooks together stays together.......how many couples have you seen cooking together?? Well, I have none. Maybe if both are chefs by profession and work in the same restaurant, this might work. Which husband after a tiresome day at office would be thrilled at the prospect of  cooking dinner with his wife. Or for that matter, is a Sunday spent grocery shopping in the overcrowded malls, standing in long queues for billing , considered quality time with your partner? These activities if done once in a while can be fun but expecting your husband to cook or shop with you every time may have the opposite result.
Sharing is good but in limits and certainly not everything can be shared. So, let your kids be possessive about their things, it gives them security. And complete your cooking before your husband arrives home so that both of you can enjoy dinner together. Spend the Sunday lazing around with your family instead of sweating in the crowded markets.
Sharing is caring but take care to share......-Finger talkies.

How much is too much??

A rather funny incident happened today. My dear hubby went to office as usual in the morning, only to find that the office is closed !!! It is a state holiday- Maharashtra day! Though both of us had a good laugh about it but such incidents provoke thoughts like - how much is too much? Mind you even though I am happy to get this unexpected holiday with him but at the same time it made me think about how preoccupied his mind is.
Our parents lived in the golden age of government jobs. They had fixed office timings ,fixed holidays and fixed salaries. Life was simple. They went to office, worked, came back in time for cup of tea, spent time with family and ended the day at a decent time. Pleasures came from small deeds like eating out at the neighborhood eatery or going for a movie. As kids we were happy to get an ice cream on the way back from school....it was big treat! Holidays were spent lazing around with family and idling the time away.
We are living in the world of materialism where there are no limits. No limit to the working hours, no limit to the earnings and no limit to the spendings. The more you earn...the more you spend..the more materialistic you get. Today, we eat at five star hotels, watch movies at multiplexes ,shop high end brands at malls and exercise at premium health clubs. It has become a part of daily lives......no special pleasure is drawn out of these things. If the world is progressing ,then how come we can't recall the last memorable dinner or a family outing. I still remember the nukkad dhabha where I had enjoyed numerous meals with family. Surprisingly, my husband still remembers which movie he had seen in which theater as a child. More surprisingly, he forgot that he has a holiday today! There is so much happening every second.....and our minds are so full of it...that we have stopped taking pleasures in small things. Is this what we are heading towards? Is materialism taking place of memories?
How much more do we want ? Where will this materialism stop or will it ever? - Finger Talkies.

Mc D's yes....Birdys no!

Recently I read a very disturbing article about a study conducted on 2500 children where 70 percent of them didn't know what is a sparrow. Well, 90 percent recognized McDonalds logo!! 

Yesterday, I asked my three year old daughter where would she like to go for a Sunday outing. Not surprisingly, she wanted to play games in the gaming zone of the mall and eat at Mc Donald's. After we had spent an entire evening at one of the biggest gaming zones in the city and had our fill of burgers and fries, I sat thinking. Why kids these days crave virtual space more than natural space? Why the only association of a spider or a bat is with Spiderman or Batman? Have they ever seen a spider's web or bats hanging upside down on trees?  Surely children are not responsible for this scenario. We as parents want the best for our children  and in that quest, are we leading them to a lifestyle that is restricted only to virtual media? Giving them a PSP, IPAD, TABLETS should not be a substitute for playing in the neighborhood park with friends.  Surely we don't want to raise a generation of  technical junkies who have never seen a butterfly flutter its wings.  As it is rightly said - Books provide information but knowledge comes from experience. Let them discover Mother Nature. Take them to the park to enjoy the birds chirping ,squirrels playing hide and seek and insects creeping and crawling . Let them climb a tree and scrape their knee, let them walk barefoot on the sandy beach and get dirty, let them dive into the pond and get wet. Don't confine their thoughts to a handful of virtual games. Let them be with nature.......Let their imagination take flight and soar higher and higher........!

I take a vow to take my kids to park as often as I take them to malls....do you too?- Finger Talkies.